|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| so now that i realized this thing still works, i took some time to read back on my previous entries. and i have only one thing to say:
man, i was one whiney bitch. seriously. it was to the point where each entry was basically me being a cryptic jerk about some girl or me still having trouble getting over something (someone). i think i was probably looking for sympathy. no scratch that. i was looking for sympathy. but i guess it helped at the time to get some of the shit in my head out onto paper (figuratively).
which brings me to my topic: maturity.
i'll be turning a quarter of a century old in a couple months. some of my friends have already passed the mark, while others will wait til later this year to make it there. i always like to reflect back on what has changed in my life maturity wise. and although things have gotten better, i'm sad to say that i haven't grown all that much. i still bitch and moan about the smallest of issues. i still think way too much about things. i'd like to think that the past couple years of working and living on my own that i could reach some level of maturity where i can look at myself and honestly say that i'm where i wanna be, that i can be proud of what kind of character i've become. but i'm not. my eyes were definitely opened last year to the fact that i'm still not mature enough to handle straining situations with my friends. a couple incidents with a few of my close friends last year really showed me that i still have the maturity level of a highschooler. in hindsight, i think we're better friends for it, but it was a big flashing sign telling me i need to re-evaluate where i'm going.
i guess while i'm at it, i'd like to clear something up. this past winter break, my friends back home thought it'd be fun to play matchmaker with me. while interesting and fun, i have to say that i was disappointed. not at the situation or the girls i met, nor the activities, because it was one of the best christmas breaks i've ever had and i had a ton of fun. but i was disappointed in myself, in that i come off as so desparate and depressing, that my friends feel that i needed this. i'm sure it wasn't totally for me, as i suspect they got a lot of amusement and entertainment out of it as well, but i guess i gripe about being alone for so long that someone eventually felt pity. so i'm slowly trying a new direction in my life. instead of the stagnant 'whatever happens, happens' attitude i've been taking, i'm gonna go for the self-improvement attitude. improve me for me, and let everything else play out. this isn't a new year's resolution (i kinda hate the 'new year's resolution' title) but more of a lifestyle change. here's the list so far:
1. get down to highschool weight. this is kind of a stretch, esp since i still lift heavy, but it might be doable. this includes me running and swimming, and if you know me, you know that i loathe running the most out of any physical activity.
2. learn to play the piano. this is slow going. i bought a keyboard, and have started learning stuff from online sites etc, but it feels good to be playing an instrument again, even if i'm horrible and will be for a long time.
3. eat healthier. i went to the doctors a few weeks back, and i'm right on the road to an early grave. my old attitude was, well if i die early, at least i'll die happy (cuz i eat what i want). but i don't like that idea so much anymore. so the fridge is full of fruits and yogurt and a lot less beer and meats.
4. get goin on law school stuff. so i've pretty much decided i'm gonna go to law school. i found a particular school that has night classes and is ranked relatively well and i can get boeing to pay for it. i'm not sure i'm ready to shell out the $600 for lsat classes yet, so i'm gonna ninja some lsat material from a friend of mine and start studying (i'm thinking of taking the test in october?? any suggestions?)
right now those are the top priority items. i think my attitude will improve as i start rolling on these goals more. so here's hoping to a better life.
| | |
| wow.
HI!
so this is weird. i haven't written an entry/blog (BLOG?) in ages. almost two years. i didn't even think this thing still existed til juh mentioned that it was still up. such interesting times, these past two years. i do miss writing in here, but looking back at my previous entries, i realized something - I SUCK AT WRITING AND WAS VERY IMMATURE.
not that now is any better, but maybe i'll write some more meaningful things. i doubt anyone will check this anyway.
update #1: don't fly american airlines. might just be me, but being delayed 3 hrs, then canceled, then rebooked and sent to kona, and then delayed another 3.5 hours before FINALLY getting on the plane to bring me back to LA does not make me like them very much.
update #2: i <3 xmas break. that was fun. more so than last year i think, which is odd cuz i really REALLY enjoyed NOLA. a lot of interesting things happened this break.
update #3: i still have a job! woo! the economy + democratic president + boeing doing poorly = scared for job security. had layoffs last year, which i survived, and yet the worse is still to come i think. i <3 obama, but the guy doesn't fit the mold of spending military dollars.
update #4: i have quit WoW. yes, yes, i did it. took two weeks in hawaii and just as many weeks without any real internet connection to finally kick the habit. WERD!
i guess considering my last entry was almost two years ago, a lot of this might be cryptic to those who i haven't talked to recently. Sorry. i suck at keeping in touch, even with my best of friends.
in the same fashion, i've decided to write about a life topic today, since you know how deep i am (negs). today's topic will be: home or away?
i've spent just about my entire adolescent and adult life convincing myself that living away from hawaii is the best choice. hawaii is so contained and sheltered that living there seems like i would miss out on a ton of experiences and opportunities. and this is true. yet, somewhere down the road, on this timeline i call my life, i've come to realize that maybe not all those things are for me. yes, los angeles and the mainland consist of a huge variety of experiences that i could not get in hawaii. yes, the work opportunities and career choices i have are much greater on the mainland than in hawaii. but after being home for two weeks, i realized that i don't really need all of that. life with my family and friends, and just living without any sense urgency seems more up my alley than the GOGOOGOGO lifestyle of the mainland. i don't even like going out all that much up here, but the lure that i could if i really wanted to is what keeps me around.
now i'm not saying i'm coming home tomorrow (tho i kinda wish i could) but i feel like a few more years down the road, after i've exhausted as much as i can from los angeles in terms of fun and opportunities, i will be able to come home and just settle down. maybe after i get my law degree (yeah i know i keep talking about it, but it'll happen i tell you!). it just seems right to me.
| | |
| my god... it's been almost a year since my last entry.
hmm. so bored at work. lets see... life update:
i'm working
@ boeing in LA (WOOT?)
won't be coming home for awhile.
looking for a permanent home (ie condo) YIKES!
bought a car ('07 black camry) not the scion i wanted, but it works well.
probably gonna start taking classes through boeing for my MBA or LAW degree, can't decide which yet.
feel pretty lonely up here. kinda wish i went home, especially as the semester comes to a close and majority of my diminished number of friends are going home.
kinda scared about life and the reality of it. i sleep at 11 every night now... and that's saying something considering for a whole year i went to sleep at around 3 or 4 on average.
hmm... still single, BIG SURPRISE...
looking forward to football season (its so far away).
had the bday party a couple weeks ago... was pretty huge, if by huge i mean that i knew only 20-25% of the people there and we went through a keg, 120 beers, and about 4 handles. nice to know that when freshmen girls walk into a strangers apartment, they give the owner weird looks (the 'bitch please' look, not good looks).
thats about it. happy reading for those who actually still read this
| | |
| so i told lys that i'd write something here for graduation... so here it goes.
what i've learned in 4 years of college:
beer before liquor never been sicker. although it's all alcohol... it does have some validity
to worship the porcelain god is to be humble
sleep is better in bed than in the classroom... skip class
skipping class becomes a bad habit... wake ur ass up and go to class
u never know how ur living situation is gonna work out until u try.
never gamble with rent money
a lot of moral views u held in highschool have been 'altered' since attending college
to do well in school, u only have to do better than the average
engineers will always be nerds
accountants are rediculously spoiled (i don't care if u 'pay' for it later)
bio majors are hardcore dorks, but when given alcohol, change into party animals
'business' is the copout major
ise majors (industrial systems engineering) are copouts too
comm is for jocks and cute girls
college football is god
all other sports come second
just because u were a tool in highschool doesn't mean u'll be one in college (case and point howard)
u know ur not in hawaii when u walk around campus w/ lei's on and the haoles look at you funny
KATONKs just don't understand us sometimes
ur still in college if ur bedtime is always around 3-5am
videogames roxor l33t zomgwtfbbq roflcopter imo glhf gg no-re
NEVER fall asleep in caesar's palace casino at 2am
not remembering what happens is nature's way of saying "u had fun last night"
EH no tell nobody - is a bad phrase to say... to anyone
highschool drama and college drama are pretty much the same thing... it doesn't get any less, in fact maybe more serious than it was in highschool. life drama is probably even worse
when dealing with depression and sadness, a good dose of friendship is one of the best cures
quarters will always be golden, no matter where u live
girls are stupid - end of debate
they never mean what they say, and never say what they mean
luau's should be fully appreciated every year... even if u don't make it to the afterparty
doing edward 40-hands while on the fountain run will get you mad props, from everyone
blackjack is teh DEVIL
and finally, whenever the internet goes down, you will be lost, without direction and without hope.
i'm sure there's a lot more that i've learned over the last 4 years, but that'll do for now. | | |
| muther fcking stupid dumbass piece of sh!t.
that would be me. i haven't updated recently, for lack of exciting news. or rather news that i would like to share. but this, i can.
so it's 11 am. and my phone rings. dunno who the caller is so i pick up, thinkin i have a package or something. BAM! it's a recruiter from Motorolla. btw, i was sleeping prior to the call. so anyway, this guy starts asking me questions about myself since i submitted my resume for the job.
then he goes "have you read the job description?"
and me not wanting to piss him off by saying no i say, "umm a little bit"
then he asks me, "what can you contribute to the job? what skills do you posses?"
and i'm stumped. normally i'd bullshit my way out of it. cuz usually i'm good w/ interviews. as long as i know what i'm interviewing for. all i knew was that this place was hiring, and it's easy to submit resume. so i did. and then he throws me the curveball, with me expecting the fastball. fck fck fck. so... that's one job i probably won't be getting. AWESOME. omg. i thought i'd get an email or something. not a preliminary interview for the real interview. fcking a. pissed at myself. gfg. what a way to start the week.
| | |
|
